So, Herbie Hancock’s latest album, River: The Joni Letters, was released a few months ago. However, as far as I’ve heard from the media, it hasn’t really generated much buzz until recently, after it got a few nominations for the grammys. I downloaded it after hearing it won album of the year, the first time a jazz album has done so in 43 years, and I wasn’t surprised to find out it fucking rocks.

Considering the last couple of things Herbie has released (i.e. Possibilities, a pretty pop-oriented collaboration piece), River is like going back to his glory days with Miles Davis’ second legendary quintet. Most of this album (songs like Nefertiti, Sweet Bird, and Solitude) is straight-up, unadulterated jazz. But that’s not to say his electric side that shined in the 70’s and 80’s isn’t present - just listen for the funky guitar in Edith and the Kingpin, and you might start remembering bits of Rockit or Chameleon.

The first track, “Court and Spark” (to remind you the album is a tribute to Joni Mitchell), is really the signature piece in my eyes. A soft melody on the piano starts it out, then the bass and rhythm kick in to bring it all together. And when Norah Jones starts singing, it gets you right into the mood of the whole album.

All in all, River is a definite must-listen-to for any fans of Herbie, and I would recommend it for anyone who likes music in general.

Over the course of my life, I have experienced some of the funniest and most outlandish shit you can possibly put your mind to. Growing up in Bayside, Queens, I’ve lived amongst a handful of characters. These are the stories of my childhood, the people I grew up with and the town which has bred me.

My friends and I were typically very bad children. One time when I was ten years old, me and a couple of my friends had some how gotten access to an arsenal of mortars and other numerous fireworks. This was my first experience with fireworks, and it felt so good knowing how much illegal contraband we had, and how much shit I could blow up. We took them to a nearby park a couple blocks away from my house, which is huge and full of trees and woods. Knowing we’d get our cache taken away from us if anyone saw three little kids with the amount of shit we had, we walked into the woods. We set up the tube and loaded our first mortar…it shot into the sky and immediately all the trees caught fire. We ran back to my block and looked as four or five fire trucks came rushing into the park to extinguish the fire before the whole park engulfed. That was the last time I touched fireworks for a while.

Read the rest of this tearjerking coming of age tale

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February 23, 2008 @ 21:21
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Video games are doing very well. Business is good, innovation is in, and the real winners are the gamers. By all logic, you’d think that things couldn’t possibly get better. You would say “Golly, I just don’t see how games could get any better! They’re perfect!” Well, Billy, you’d be wrong.

You see, games still have a long way to go. Sure, there’s the obvious stuff like better AI and graphics and the expensive new storage mediums to put it on. That’s a given. The issue is that there are now two branches of gaming going in very different directions. There’s the casual, quick experience, pick-up-and play games and there’s the no life, sitting in the dark by yourself, swear-and-throw-shit-at-your-TV games. The former is pushing forward because it’s in the middle of a revival, but the latter is home to some great but very tired and formulaic games in recent years. What would really be cool is some sort of combination of the two. A fairly simple game with a lot of depth under it’s simple gameplay. A game with the production values of Halo 3 that your grandmother could play and enjoy.

Who would play this? Click to read more »

At the end of my work day I was supposed to hangout with my girlfriend and I wasn’t really sure what we would do. This is mostly due to the fact that my area sucks and in the winter, unless you like to fish, there isn’t shit to do. So due to the obvious lack of things to do I took the safe option and decided to take her out to dinner.

Now this is where things get tricky, especially if you don’t know shit about women (most of the posters on the board). So I’ll lend you shit face some help. Your woman deserves it, especially if you don’t know what the fuck you are doing. They go in order from how much you like to the girl to how much you hate her.

1. The 5 star restaurant- only take a girl here if you are either going to propose to her or want to impress the fuck out of her. Otherwise Don’t do this with a girl you don’t really like. She could get the wrong idea and think you want a meaningful relationship. Most likely she’s some chick that you want to get with and have some fun. This type of restaurant isn’t for you. As posted above.

2. The local semi-nice/formal place- This is a fun and nice way to show a girl you like her and possibly want to pursue a semi-serious relationship. You’ll seem like a gentleman without coming off as a panty pusher. This is usually a do if you like the girl.

3. The Olive Garden/Genji’s/Outback and other nice chain restaurants- If you like a girl and want to show her you appreciate her, this is the safe option for a relationship that has been going for around 6 months to a year. She’ll feel special and believe you still have that spark in your relationship. You’ll also get laid that evening.

4. Shitty fast food place down the road- If you’re in high school or college, this a good option if you don’t mind looking like a cheap bastard. All you’re hoping for is to get laid that evening and then never talk to her again. It’s easy, cheap and a good way to get some conversation going.

5. The Bar- You pick up hoes here. Don’t take a date here. You are a asshole if you do.

That’s it, enjoy this bit of help.