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THE VT » Blog Archive » Rank is a lazy sack of fuckpiss

Rank is a lazy sack of fuckpiss


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Cancer doesn’t want to do it, and my week has sucked so I’ll just message it to you (I’m not looking up the thread that tells me how to do this). It’s gonna suck, but whatever

This Week Sucks: Mid-Terms, bitches, and booze

Normally my weeks suck anyway, but this particular one was an epic fail of Abobo proportions, both literally and physically. On any given week the week consists of “goto class, do homework, get home, feed the cat, do some artwork and then wait for the weekend to drink and start the process over”. So lets begin.

Thursday: History class blows, it’s that class where the teacher speaks for three hours, has no class interaction, dims the lights and expects everybody pass their exam the following week. The irony of this is that despite the lack of classroom interactions there’s always that one annoying bitch chewing bubblegum in the back making comments like she graduated from the Mooseheadgreen school of grammar. For art students this is where the week begins, mainly because you’re not expected to do too much learning in your studio classes and do most of your shit at home. So instead of doing the right thing, I spend the night drinking.

Friday: This is the day where you tell yourself “I’m gonna get all my stuff done during the day so I can have fun tonight”, but instead you end up failing and catch up on sleep you’ve missed over the past week and, like ILP, only spend an actual hour doing work. I forget it’s my friends 21st birthday, I go there but they took some faggy “jersey’s and hip hop” party instead of my “80’s hair metal” idea. Spend the night getting belligerently drunk, get a few phone numbers and watch my friend who never drinks, go hulk on a Mirror because god doesn’t approve of some girl grinding on him I guess. Fag

Saturday: nothing

Sunday: West Michigan observes the sabbath day. Bars close extra early, liquor sales end at 11pm at the latest (if any place is open that late) and the city dies.

Monday: no class, get a pack of cigarettes and a Rolling Stones album for $5 from my friends thrift shop. Homework begins at 8pm and ends at 4am with a pot of coffee set to start brewing for your morning class.

Tuesday: Class, get home, sleep, feed cat and blow my dog whistle to annoy my downstairs neighbors. I need to explain this part because some of you have empathy for dogs, as do I. My downstairs neighbors are dirty old 1970’s hippy rejects. They’re between the ages of at least 45 and 55 and spend their days smoking weed and barley working. The husband sits on his ass all day and complains about not being able to find a job but instead watches TV and lets his dog shit all over the front yard and never cleans it up. This is more noticeable when it’s raining and the snow melts and there’s between 15 and 20 dog shits on the sidewalk in front of your house and on your front yard. So the dog whistle is justified.

Wednesday: Women are weird. Imagine going to a gas station and finding some girl you’ve met before like a year ago, you get your cigarettes and leave but one of her friends comes out and says “You’re Jon, right?” “Well you know this girl? She’s all like ‘he’s so hot’ (I couldn’t be making this part up)’, just trying to help you out man”. Go inside, bullshit for a while, she’s more busy than I am so she asks for my number, never calls. Does the same thing the following week. Lesson learned: nice girls blow, back to the bars and communication majors.

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3 Responses to “Rank is a lazy sack of fuckpiss”

  1. fewr Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/klic/public_html/vt/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    Is it the cat you found wandering the streets when you were coming back home after drinking?

  2. Rank Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/klic/public_html/vt/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    Yes, she was a little scared at first but now that cat needs me. The con of having a cat is when a girl comes over they automaticly say “omg your cat is soo cute!”. Downside is that since I don’t have a dog on this part of the state I can’t walk it and my dogs natural urge to hump everthing to start conversations.

  3. Cake Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/klic/public_html/vt/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    BOOOOOOOOOOORING

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