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THE VT » VT Hate List: Videogames

Chrono Trigger character descriptions

Monday, November 24th, 2008 || brokenglass

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I officially have played Chrono Trigger more than any other rpg. The second being Final Fantasy VII (most will stop reading this article right here) and the third being Suikoden.

As a result, this is probably the moment that would call for a game review. However, I personally fail at video game reviews since I forever debate on what exactly I review and how to do it. Instead, to get my fix for writing something about the game, I was originally going to do a tier list of the characters. However, I later found the placement of a few of them sketchy and the fact that it differentiates depending on whether you’re the guy who uses the New Game+ feature several times and is one of those freaks who wants to maximize everything or if you’re the guy who just wants to…..play the game. So instead, it’ll just be a description of each character rather than an actual order of best to worst.

Obviously there isn’t much usefulness for doing this sort of thing considering that the game was released over 12 years ago, is the most popular rpg on the SNES, was rereleased on the PS1 and is so damn easy that you can beat it yourself. Nevertheless, I’m in one of those “need to write SOMETHING” moods so here we are.

The thing I really like about this game is even if there is a tier list, there are no bad characters. You’re free to use the characters you like and any team combination will work. Probably the only one I wouldn’t use is Crono, Lucca and Magus and even that is possible if you just stock up on healing items which is completely possible since most of the good equipment is found, not purchased (infact, that could be one of the deadlier teams if you just have tons of tonics). Anyways, let’s get started:

Crono:

Coming down with a serious case of JRPG hero syndrome, this guy has it all. One of the fastest and strongest characters in the game. He

A review of the Yahoo game Taxi gone wild.

Saturday, May 10th, 2008 || Renaults

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Now I know this isn’t the coolest game or even that well known, but this game is addictive and really fun. While I had some down time today and was bored as hell I decided to play it. (more…)

Bubbleman Review: Megaman Powered Up!

Thursday, February 28th, 2008 || Bubbleman

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While there’s no better authority than myself to review anything, I would say that it’s even more so with “Megaman Powered Up” for the PSP, remake of Megaman for the NES. And since I am obviously the best suited for this critique, it is not beyond my powers to sum up the game in one word:

“Murder.”

“Murder” coming from the general feeling it invokes when one plays through the game. It definitely captures the retro feel since it keeps intact what I like to call “Nintendo hard,” which is the schizophrenic difficulty that shifts from accomplishing a given goal to instant pitfall death in a mere missed platform jump. Yes, this game reduces us back into the controller-throwing spazzes we were back in the 80s, when we weren’t cushioned with save spots and good game design. I suppose Megaman P.U. reflects a shift in the gaming atmosphere, but that does little to quell my rage.

Ironically, the unforgiving difficulty is also what makes this game addicting. I found myself playing through Challenge Mode way longer than my patience would normally allow, simply because I wanted the satisfaction of getting through the spiky-fucking-pit area with one health bar while the area exploded with enemies. It helps there’s a variety of boss robots to control, each with their own unique powers and moves. And it is rather cool to play through the original game with any of them and get a new set of dialogue based on their extreme personalities. But myriad of robotic abilities does not make playing through Gutsman stage for the fifth time any less dreadful.

There are two new robotic additions to the original robot lineup: Timeman and Oilman. And instead of melding well with the theme of do-what-their-name-implies robots, they stick out like bolded text in a paragraph. This is mainly a visual issue; Oilman looks like the way African Americans were drawn in the fifties and Timeman sports a pair of tits on his head.

Speaking of weird looks, the overall giant-head artstyle is a big “what the hell?” But then again, once a player gets passed the initial visuals and concentrates on the game, all images become grouped together until the mind only sees it as a bunch of generalized symbols and colors being lead one side of the screen to the other. Really, we haven’t strayed far from eight color adventures of the Atari days when you look at it that way. But on the subject, you forget about the giant heads about ten minutes into the game. It’s only when the robots resemble extreme stereotypes, or naked chicks does it become distracting.

In the end, the reason to pick up this game (beyond me telling you) is the nostalgia. Megaman Powered Up offers classic Megaman gameplay that can’t be found in the blue bomber’s current Pokemon rip-off franchise. The developers were obvious fans of the old school version and they’ve added enough innovation to an old formula to create an incredible thing: a game that is both a new and classic experience.

Now go buy it so Capcom will be encouraged to make Megaman Power Up 2 so the glorious Bubbleman can return. Then I will have enough head to finally satisfy all your mothers.

Video games, consumerism, and redundancy

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 || balohna

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Video games are doing very well. Business is good, innovation is in, and the real winners are the gamers. By all logic, you’d think that things couldn’t possibly get better. You would say “Golly, I just don’t see how games could get any better! They’re perfect!” Well, Billy, you’d be wrong.

You see, games still have a long way to go. Sure, there’s the obvious stuff like better AI and graphics and the expensive new storage mediums to put it on. That’s a given. The issue is that there are now two branches of gaming going in very different directions. There’s the casual, quick experience, pick-up-and play games and there’s the no life, sitting in the dark by yourself, swear-and-throw-shit-at-your-TV games. The former is pushing forward because it’s in the middle of a revival, but the latter is home to some great but very tired and formulaic games in recent years. What would really be cool is some sort of combination of the two. A fairly simple game with a lot of depth under it’s simple gameplay. A game with the production values of Halo 3 that your grandmother could play and enjoy.

Who would play this? Click to read more »

Why Rock Band (X360) Sucks

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 || Cake

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So everyone is hailing Rock Band as the second coming of Jesus and a “breath of fresh air” into the increasingly stale Guitar Hero super-mega-franchise. The problem is the game is a huge fucking ripoff and the part that made GH fun (the lead guitar) has been completely dumbed down, along with a host of other fucking problems that plague the fucking game. Now, let me fucking explain:

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VT Hate List: Videogames
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All things gaming, including news, Xbox live game times, and how everyone should buy advanced wars. Also, inordinate amounts of bitching.